My cat is not an attention hog… she’s taking the attention off of my flaws.
My cat does not tear up paper… she’s recycling.
My cat does not break things … she’s a science geek and it conducting experiments with gravity.
My cat does not fear dogs … he is merely selective of the company he keeps.
My cat is not a glutton… she simply appreciates the culinary efforts made on her behalf.
My cat does not scratch … he is a furniture ventilator. He happens to also specialize in ventilating wood frames, paneling, carpet, window frames…
My cat does not catterwaul … she is singing off-key. Intentionally.
My cat does not hog the spot on the couch… he’s keeping it warm for us.
My cat is not a Chatty Kathy…. she’s so full of wit and wisdom, she can’t control it all.
My cat is not finicky… he’s particular.
My cat is not a pest … she’s a selfless entertainer.
My cat is not a heartless hunter … he is a wildlife control expert.
My cat is not mean… she’s practicing for the role as Batman’s next villain.
My cat is not fat … she is insulated.
My cat is not lazy … she is conserving her energy.
My cat does not get underfoot … he’s protective. He’s making sure I arrive safely at his food dish.
My cat is not always in the way… she’s always there for us.