10. Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.
9. Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.
8. Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
7. No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
6. Kirstie Alley fits through your kitty door without the aid of lubricants.
5. It’s no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
4. Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
3. He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
2. Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
1. Has more chins than lives.
Alexa isn’t amused by this post, whatsoever.
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